Daily Telegraph
Stinking Bishop makes a timely stinker
Wallace and Gromit will
catapult a fine old British cheese into the spotlight, says Christopher
Middelton
There are plenty of cheesy celebrities
these days, but the Stinking Bishop is different. It is one of the
stars of the new Wallace and Gromit film and such has been the publicity
for this pungent product of rural Gloucestershire that stocks are
starting to run low.
Stinking Bishop
Big cheese: Stinking Bishop will
appear in a film with Wallace and Gromit
"We're selling three times as much
as we normally do," says a spokesman for the Real Eating Company
in Brighton. "Every other order is for Stinking Bishop," sighs the
man from Teddington Cheese Online.
At Paxton and Whitfield's Piccadilly
branch in London, they've sold out of the sliced variety, but can
put a 500g wheel aside for me under the counter (£17.50). Having
dashed over to retrieve my prize, I hold a little tasting session
for friends and family.
"Pungent", "assertive" and "overpowering"
are the polite verdicts. "Farmyard pong" and "foreign drains" are
the less appreciative comments.
In fact, the taste of the cheese
isn't half as fierce as the smell. "Its bark is definitely worse
than its bite," confirms the lady from Neal's Yard Dairy. Nevertheless,
it does bark pretty loudly and, like its four-pawed counterparts,
has a habit of leaping out and attacking the postman.
"We never mail out Stinking Bishop
during the hot summer months," says Patricia Michelson, who owns
two La Fromagerie shops in London. "It really does get too high
to handle, and wouldn't go down at all well in the sorting office."
The same caveat applies at Paxton
and Whitfield, too. "We only send out Stinking Bishop to signed-up
members of our Cheese Society," says account manager Rob Reames.
"And, even then, it only travels in our own sealed, temperature-controlled
vans."
A cheese for the connoisseur, then,
and until news leaked out of its (as yet unspecified) role in The
Curse of the Were-Rabbit, due to be released on October 14, fans
of the Stinking Bishop were confined to a small number of specialist
fromage-ophiles. All of which suited the cheese's maker Charles
Martell, who admits he has neither the capacity nor the inclination
to produce more than 100 rounds per day.
Originally, he began making the cheese
on his farm at Dymock, 15 miles north of Gloucester, as a means
of drawing attention to the rare breed of cows which supplied the
milk. Thanks to his efforts, the number of Old Gloucesters, striking
mahogany-coloured cattle, has risen in Britain from a mere 68 to
500-plus.
His other great enthusiasm is for
the orchards of the area; indeed the Stinking Bishop is the name
of the pear from which Martell makes the perry (pear cider) in which
he bathes his cheese, thereby creating its fruity rind.
As well as the Stinking Bishop, he
has studied and collected scores of other Gloucestershire pear varieties,
and has identified 84 types still in existence: among them Early
Griffin, Flaky Bark, Honeyknob, Judge Amphlett and Merrylegs. Don't
look for Bastard Longdon or Billy Williams, though; they've already
disappeared.
As yet, no one knows how Martell
will cope with the sudden surge in demand. When an earlier Aardman
Animation film featured Wensleydale as Wallace's favourite cheese,
it resulted in a long-term quadrupling of demand; the creamery concerned
now employs 200 people, whereas the full Stinking Bishop staff complement
currently numbers just three.
"We can't really produce any more
because we're working flat out as it is," says the affable Old Salopian
Martell, who is 59. "I'm not actually sure how I'm going to solve
this problem, but it's quite a nice one to have."
One solution might be to subcontract
some of the work to a friendly monastery; it is thought that Cistercian
monks in the area developed the original Stinking Bishop.
Alternatively, if demand continues
to outstrip supply, cheeselovers might try similarly nostril-challenging
"boutique" cheeses from around the British Isles; these include
Gubbeen, Durrus, Mileens and Ardrahan (from Ireland), Bishop Kennedy
(from Scotland) and mead-bathed Oxford Isis from England.
'There is no doubt that British cheesemakers
are becoming increasingly confident about what they are doing,"
says Juliet Harbutt, the organiser of this month's British Cheese
Awards. "Something like the Wallace and Gromit film makes people
realise just how many small, independent cheesemakers there are."
According to the Specialist Cheesemakers Association, there are
139.
One of those is the Prince of Wales,
who commissioned Charles Martell to create a Stinking Bishop "clone"
called Starvall Royal, produced with milk from his own organic herd
of Ayrshires which graze at Highgrove. Unfortunately, it is for
the Prince's private consumption only, and is not available to the
public.
All of which means that if Stinking
Bishop gets any scarcer, its fans might start to become desperate.
We could even see a repeat of what happened at specialist cheesemaker
James Montgomery's farm in Somerset, when thieves stole six tons
of Cheddar.
Cheese rustling! Now there's a subject
for a Wallace and Gromit follow-up.
- # The British Cheese Awards are
at the Imperial Gardens, Cheltenham, on October 22-23; tickets
£6 (£5 in advance; 01242 227979; www.thecheeseweb.com).
Cheese hall of fame
Epoisses Favourite cheese of Napoleon
Bonaparte and famously banned from the Paris Metro on grounds of
stinkiness.
Limburger Pungent Swiss cheese that
sparked a US postal dispute during the 1930s when mailmen refused
to carry it.
Stilton Not actually made in Stilton,
but made famous there by the Bell Inn, the pub that sold it during
the 18th century.
Virgin Mary Sandwich Grilled cheese
toastie purporting to bear the face of the Madonna on its surface.
It fetched a bid of $18,000 at auction last year in the US.
I Am the Cheese A film made in 1983
starring Robert Wagner about a boy trying to unlock the secret of
his parents' disappearance.
The Cheesehead Hat Giant piece of
foam Gruyère that is worn on the heads of fans of the American football
team the Green Bay Packers.
'Blessed are the cheesemakers' From
Monty Python's Life of Brian when those at the back of the crowd
mishear "Blessed are the peacemakers" at the Sermon on the Mount. |